HOT SAUCE REVIEW: Psycho Juice - Smoked Ghost Pepper

Yyyyyup, that's right. I'm doing hot sauce reviews on this blog now as well as music.

So where better to start than with a sauce made of the big bastard, the ghost pepper?

So this is obviously going to be painful. The label makes constant reference to hurting the individual imbibing the lethal concoction. And frighteningly, it's the medium heat sauce of the range.

So, you initially get a nice dark flavour followed by an immediate spinkick to the face. This spinkick is hard enough to dislodge teeth and leave you out for the count. Milk won't help. It's not overpowering, mind - pretty smooth, and the afterburn feels 'dark' as well. You don't need much either - a few dollops will do a meal.

I have hot sauce three times daily, EVERY DAY, and this one is up there with the Dave's Gourmet and Blair's stuff in terms of taste and quality. It'll be seeing regular rotation on my tongue.

REVIEW: The Devin Townsend Project - 'Epicloud'

The last record Dev made that I bought (chronologically) was the final SYL album 'The New Black'. I'm rather unfamiliar with the more chillded out Dev; in my mind he's always been the gibbering, hulking professor that he was in his Strapping years because that's generally all of his material that I had.

So I took a chance on 'Epicloud'; having no idea what to expect other than material that would be not what I expect from Dev. This is the first DTP record I've picked up so far.

Well, it's not metal. It's a lot of things, but metal is not one of them. Equal amounts of hard rock, introspection, melody, grandiose gestures and sheer beauty, but not metal. The closest it comes to that is the re-recording of 'Kingdom'. It's also a shamelessly happy album, full of genuine mirth and moments that make you grin, not out of humour but out of the fact they're written to make you feel GOOD.

It's pretty simple stuff: most songs are formed around a central riff or vocal line, come in, do their thing, and then leave again. There are no forgettable tracks on here; everything has a strong hook that will have you humming or tapping along for days. I can't get the demented, stomping boogie chorus of 'Lucky Animals (The New Beige)' out of my head. 'Save Our Now' very nearly made me burst into tears, and music has done that to me but twice before.

The musicianship is great too - The guitars and bass stick to pretty simple (in Dev terms) riffs, which is what the songs need in fairness - these are not complex songs, and would suffer from needless embellishments. The keys are a nice touch when they come in, and the vocals are well written and well performed. Dev rarely descends to his manic screech; this album is 99% melodic and all the better for it. Female counterpart Anneke is also a great part of the album's appeal.

This has definitely been one of my best purchases thus far; although I can't help but feel a little sad. Whilst I'd love to see a Strapping reunion, I can't help but feel that Dev has completely outgrown metal. That said, with an album like this, that sadness is fleeting, replaced by an Effervescent quality that just leaves you craving More!

Sorry. Couldn't resist.

10/10

GIG REVIEW - Silent Descent / The Mask of Virtue, Mexborough Civic 27/07/12

Oh yes. My first gig since January, where a large and shirtless man with too few vowels in his five character surname made me his darling cold and blue.

So tonight, we have the local band The Mask of Virtue (http://www.facebook.com/themaskofvirtue) who I was wholly unfamiliar with, and trance-metal chimps Silent Descent (http://www.facebook.com/silentdescent) who I am very familiar with, having found them at the tail end of 2008 and attaching my support like a limpet mine attaching to a submarine. As far as I'm aware, Mask are pretty big locally, Silly D are southern. I was not alone tonight. It was like a confederate reunion with people who I could actually understand, even if they veered dangerously towards cockney at times. YEE-FUCKIN'-HAW.

The gig itself then. I sat through Mask's set a ways back in the venue because I know none of their tracks and wanted to get a good idea of what they were about. Live is normally the best place to be introduced to new stuff, and I'm happy to say they only marginally annoyed me with a cover of Mr Gag's 'Bad Rome Pants'. It was delivered well and all, but just fuck that song. Anything else and I'd not mind.

The music was overall a fusion of metalcore and dustbep, wot skrillek invetned [Lyons, J. Dustbep and Womms, p.1, 2012]. Now generally I hate dustbep womm womm womm, but this was pulled off with the music in a way that made it integral and enjoyable, full of hooks. The setup itself nearly gave me a creamy nerdgasm, with a controller and a Kaoss running together. I've always wanted to do that. The vocalist was an energetic scamp as well.

Silly D next then, and I've wanted to see them live for a few years. Two members were not present, guitarist Callahan (I presume Mexicans kidnapped him), and keyboardist Paul of Beard (who had a baby. Not him, his missus. If he had a baby it'd need to come through the chest). I'd had a natter with vocalist Watling and bassist Chewy before the gig, and was well fired up for this. Neck was all warmed up.

The set was completely comprised of newer material, which was a little disappointing considering I love the first album too, but understandable considering the timeslot and that they're promoting a new disc. So we got : Overture, Breaking The Space, Mind Games, Bricks, Coke Stars, Bring-In-Sanity and Psychotic Euphoric (I think I got the order right there). All killer tunes at any rate. I have pretty severe whiplash right now.

Being two members down didn't slow them up any - the music was slamming me like a Tager Buster - and at the very end, the be-mohawked one had everyone at the front up onto the stage for the final chunk of Psychotic - it feels pretty fantastic to have been on a stage for the first time in YEARS, and especially with musicians you have a lot of respect for.

So here's to the next gig guys. I'll be at the Corp when you're back. If you've not heard of either band, I recommend checking them out. All this talk of the new material is making me want beef jerky.

 - Maark.

ALBUM REVIEW - Mnemic - 'Mnemesis'

This album made me a little nervous. Losing two founding members and one who's been in the band long enough they may as well have been a founder is often a rough ordeal and can really strip the heart of a band away. Mnemic have come back with this album since they lost those three:

So the new guys are drummer Brian Larsen, bassist Simone Bertozzi and guitarist Victor Ray Salomonsen. Vocalist Guillame Bideu (fuck knows how to pronounce that) and sole founder Mircea Gabriel Eftemie are still going, of course.

Now, the production threw me a little. It's nowhere near as crisp as their previous two discs - quite muddy and lacking in separation between the stringed instruments. The cymbals are similarly afflicted, as is the kick drum - when Brian goes off on a speedy run, there's no definition in the strokes, which is a shame - with this sort of music, you need clarity and you need everything to be discernible.

The songs, then... It took me a few listens to 'get' this disc; initially it came through as quite average, nothing really going for it. Then when I was sat at the ol' desk at work, it hit me: songs like Junkies On The Storm, I've Been You, and Mnemesis had been stuck in my head. ALL. DAMN. DAY. Mnemic have finally succeeded in creating songs that are incredibly catchy and will lodge in your brain for days on end.

At times though the progressive aspect feels a little bit forced - some sections don't really feel like they flow that well, and some of the drum parts are quite jarring in the way they change. We do, however, get a 909 kick drum sample on Ocean of Void which is kind of cool. The first six tracks on the album are a lot stronger than the last five, which taper off a little. Unfortunate.

Overall this album would rate at 7/10 - It's a good album with some catchy tunes that's let down by shoddy production and a slightly weaker second half. Nevertheless, it's worth a listen.

ALBUM REVIEW - Gojira - 'I Surrender'

Gojira done made a new album! Yee-haw! The official title is 'L'Enfant Sauvage', but as this is French, it of course translates as 'I Surrender'; due to this I will refer to the album as that for the rest of the review.

So! It's Gojira, which as we all know now means no solos and a lot of repetitive, simplistic musical patterns that somehow come together to form something not basic and simple, like Static-X, but instead forms a complex, cerebral mix that challenges and surprises. The new album is less a continuation of 'The Way Of All Flesh' than it is of 'From Mars To Sirius'; I felt it represented a backwards step sonically as I rather enjoyed the arrangements of their 2008 effort.

The songs, well, you can't fault them. Explosia caused me to have an... erm... 'Explosia' of my own - grinding riffs, effortlessly flowing drums and bass that makes your head feel like a Frenchman is playing bass next to it, and then crushing it with his hands. Not much surrendering so far, and we're only three minutes in.

The rest of the album is much like this, although every song feels different, has its own texture, and its own moments of glory. About the only track I didn't really dig was the instrumental 'The Wild Healer'. It felt slightly forced, truth be told.

Instrumentally, the guys haven't really changed much; not a bad thing as they play comfortably together - there are fewer songs that are pure double kick, Super Mario instead opting to play some achingly tasty beats and lay down a solid vagina. What? Kids call it 'groove'? Whatever. A groove is a vagina. SAME THING. Oh, and the drums on this disc are produced to sound, y'know, GOOD, unlike a lot of metal discs these days. In fact the production for the album is 100% spot on.

Overall? I have to rate the album at 9/10. It's fucking Gojira, for a start. But also, despite what some may perceive as flaws become strengths, strengths that kick the shit out of Tokyo. Get it. Now.

ALBUM REVIEW - Silent Descent - 'Mind Games'

Silent Descent were one of the surprise finds of university for me. I was in year two, and the album had been out for most of that year already when I stumbled onto the video for 'Duplicity' on Youtube, having seen Metal Hammer's recommendation. The long, flowing hair and a Berzerker t-shirt told me I needed to check them out.

So forward three and a half years until now. The second album, 'Mind Games' has finally arrived after a few line up changes - Sniffles, Dave and Mr. G have all gone, and over the years in have come Chewy, Jimmy Sa... Su... erm, Soviet, and Purple Gimp respectively to fill the gaps. The sound hasn't changed overmuch, although the omnipresent scratches and wikkitiwah that were all over 'Duplicity' have been replaced with subtle samples that support everything else like a sinister Purple Gimp supporting everything else.

So, the album itself. It's noticeably more accessible than the previous disc; the songs are by and large about the singalong chorus and follow a relatively predictable 'metalcore formula' of scream/sing/scream/sing. There are a few of what I call 'Sonic Syndicate Moments' where the riffs and choruses sound like they've been written with radio play in mind, that said I can't object to that really.

The main changes to note are the vocals - no longer is vocalist Tom Watling relying on a low inhale for his gutturals, instead switching between a mid-pitched shout, a higher shriek/scream, and the older style (although this is improved a lot). Guitarist Callahan seems to have taken over the melodic vocals full time, and the chorus parts are definitely written with hooks and memorable melodies. The drums as well have been recorded by a person, which is nice as certain parts on 'Duplicity' would need three or four arms to play. I know. I'VE FUCKING TRIED.

There are a couple of criticisms I need to bring to bear, however: A little more variation would have been nice - there are only a couple of songs not following the general formula noted earlier, such as 'Bring-In-Sanity', and there are no songs that have the crushing heaviness of previous efforts such as 'I Can, I Will'. 'Mind Games', then should be seen as not so much an attempt to retread the same ground, but focus that sound in a certain direction and bring the band to as many people as possible. And on those grounds, I would rate it at 7/10. Good luck hearing these choruses and not having them stuck in your bonce for days.

ALBUM REVIEW - God Forbid - 'Equilibrium'

I'll not lie, when Dallas quit God Forbid, I shat a brick. One of my favourite bands lost someone who was a huge part of the sound and I was nervous about where they'd go next. Well, they went here:

'Equilibrium' - the band's sixth album, came, and with it, a new guitarist in Matt Wicklund, whose other projects I am entirely unfamiliar with. The good news? He can shred like a bitch. One worry averted.

The band's sound has changed noticeably - Doc is doing most of the melodic singing now, where on previous releases the band favoured Dallas' voice. His vocals are deeper and 'meatier' than his brother's, so it's no negative change, just one that gives the band's sound a different texture.

A few people have levelled accusations at the band of doing the same thing again and again - well, I can see why they'd say that, but then didn't people say the same thing about Lamb of God? God Forbid are churning out NWOAHM, have been since I first heard them, sure... But the strength of the songs means this is consistency.

So, the new disc. Well, Corey Pierce, the happiest drummer in metal (you ever seen how much he smiles behind that kit?) has clearly sat on a fire as he's playing faster and blastier than ever. The songs tend to favour a slightly predictable verse/chorus formula, seemingly a little more radio friendly this time. The guitars and bass are all chugging along too - Doc's leads are tastier than a 5kg bucket of buffalo wings - and Byron' vocals still drip bloody murder over the chaos beneath. We even get a guest solo from Per Nilsson. Oh hell yes.

Overall? I rate this album at 7/10. It';s a strong disc that could maybe use a little variation, but the strength of the music carries it beyond this and into the realm of memorable metal that you'll be humming for days on end.

ALBUM REVIEW - The Agonist - 'Prisoners'

I received this disc through in the post a few days ago. It was late due to the bank holiday. Fucking Queen.

So! We have here eleven tracks of angry, Canadian metal. I guess that should be mehtal? Following on from 2009's 'Lullabies For The Dormant Mind', which was an utter barnstormer, the album always had a lot to live up to. Does it? Yes and no. It depends if you wanted 'Lullabies...' part two, really. To expect the band to do that would have been a little unfair though, especially considering the schizophrenic mix of styles present on their previous disc.

So this album, then, should be seen as an evolution of the previous sound. It's notably less difficult to keep track of what's going on, despite longer compositions, and the songs tend to go for the jugular instead of dismembering you slowly. It's like the difference between an axe murderer and that dude from Saw.

Two tracks have been heard before its release on the two-track EP 'The Escape'. There are no instrumental tracks as such (the last album had a version of Swan Lake), although the first single 'Ideomotor' does contain an extended jam at the end, which was pretty cool. The instrumentation is still top-notch, with some mind-melting fretwork. The drums seem a little more straightforward this time which was a little disappointing at first, at least until this was considered in the context of the rest of the songs, after which it made a lot more sense. The vocals are consistent from the last two albums, alternating between growls, screams and melodic vocals. You could liken Alissa White-Gluz to what would happen if Stephen Fry and Christian Alvestam had a child, and that child was a screaming blue-haired lady. Why Fry, you ask? Read the lyrics. You'll learn about things.

Happily, when the music kicks back into acoustic or slower passages, the intensity isn't lost, and interest does not wane.

The only gripe I can really find at this stage (other than child vocals *shudder*) is the production on the drums - the last album had nice, clear kicks which in fairness sounded triggered to hell, but you could tell exactly what was going on; this album follows metal's annoying trend to have the drums mixed so that the really speedy bits sound like a cat snoring. Come on, producers. Bring back the vulcan-cannon kick production of old.

This is just a minor, minor gripe in the scheme of things. Overall, I would score this album at 8/10 - it's a logical step from their last disc and has some slamming tunes. Can't go higher than 8, though. Child vocals. Don't like 'em!

And so it begins.

So I finally decided to open a music blog for album reviews, thoughts on gigs, that sort of thing.

As the title suggests I am an irritable, grumpy fucker. So bear that in mind.

A little later we'll have some album reviews up to kick start the process.